I didn’t get to the National Magazine Awards afterparty at the Comrade until around 1 a.m., and I briefly stood in line for the men’s room, eavesdropping on Ian Brown, before I decided to leave. It was a long trek back to my friend’s house in the Annex. As I walked along a certain stretch of Queen, alone and wearing a suit, a young woman with a crutch approached me.
“Hey, these guys”—she gestured at a group of oblivious men across the street—“are trying to rob me. Will you stay here with me until they go away?”
I said I wouldn’t, but offered to walk her somewhere she’d feel safe, and we started down Queen together. She repeatedly asked me to slow down and took occasional breaks on the curb. The men in question—they tried to take her morphine, she said—were nowhere in sight. We kept walking.
“You’re not going to hurt me, are you?” she asked.
Of course not, I said. I’m going to walk you somewhere you’d feel safe.
“Do you want to touch me?”
Um. No.
“Do you have money?”
No, really, thank you.
She left me and stalked across the street, back in the direction we came, muttering. I didn’t mean to lead her on. Maybe the suit fooled her; it was borrowed, as were my shoes, which were a size too small and bought from a nursing home after their previous owner died.
The suit got a lot of reactions during my early-morning hour-and-a-half walk, especially along the part of Queen where young people drink. “Hey, where’s the funeral?” (Beige linen suits and striped vests are, apparently, only suitable for mourning.) “That guy is tall. Where’s Waldo?” (The stripes again, I assume, plus height and thinness and thick black glasses.) I also got several outright laughs, two sincere compliments and something in between. A young man, presumably sober and returning to his fraternity house, yelled, “Nice suit, buddy!” from a moving SUV, before adding, “Seriously, I like it a lot.”
I was reminded of the half-hour I once spent in Albany. My girlfriend and I were on a bus from New York City to Montreal, with a short dinner break in the state capital. By the time we found something to eat, we were far from the bus station with only a few minutes to spare, so we ran back. Nearly everyone we passed had something helpful to say, like, “Run for your life!” and “You’ll never make it!” “Run, Forrest, run!” was popular, which indicated that the good folks of Albany, unused to the idea of using one’s legs to move rapidly, were at least not deprived of mid-nineties popular culture.
The question I asked Albany: Have you never seen someone run before? The question I now ask Toronto: Have you never seen a man in a suit?
4 Comments
I wish more things I read were like this. -1 point because you are too modest to provide a photograph.
Posted by laura glowacki on June 7, 2009
tks for the effort you put in here I appreciate it!
Posted by MichaellaS on July 21, 2009
Hi everyone I would like to present interesting site: <a href="http://efealpr.co.cc/Alprazolam-cheap/">alprazolam prices</a> <a href=http://efealpr.co.cc/>alprazolam uk</a> <a href="http://efeambi.co.cc/ambien-fedex/">ambien medikament</a> <a href=http://efeambi.co.cc/obat-ambien/>ambien order</a> <a href="http://efeativ.co.cc/order-ativan/">ativan canada</a> <a href=http://efeativ.co.cc/ativan-benefit/>ativan oral</a> <a href="http://efebiax.co.cc/alcohol-biaxin/">biaxin buying</a> <a href=http://efebiax.co.cc/pills-biaxib/>biaxin uk</a> <a href="http://efecari.co.cc/ic-carisoprodol/">carisoprodol cheap</a> <a href=http://efecari.co.cc/carisoprodol-link/>carisoprodol pharmacy</a> <a href="http://efecipr.co.cc/cipro-alternative/">cipro prices</a> <a href=http://efecipr.co.cc/cipro-uti/>cipro drug</a> <a href="http://efeclom.co.cc/clomid-twins/">clomid doctor</a> <a href=http://efeclom.co.cc/>clomid canada</a> <a href="http://efeclon.co.cc/clonazepam-addiction/">clonazepam generic</a> <a href=http://efeclon.co.cc/online-clonazepam/>clonazepam medikament</a> <a href="http://efecode.co.cc/Codeine/">codeine sale</a> <a href=http://efecode.co.cc/Codiene/>codeine price</a> <a href="http://efediaz.co.cc/Diazipam/">diazepam drug</a> <a href=http://efediaz.co.cc/Diazipam/>diazepam buying</a> <a href="http://efediet.co.cc/gout-diet/">diet suppliers</a> <a href=http://efediet.co.cc/diet-maker/>diet suppliers</a> <a href="http://efeeffe.co.cc/effexor-lawsuit/">effexor overnight</a> <a href=http://efeeffe.co.cc/effexor-info/>effexor nextday</a> <a href="http://efeflom.co.cc/flomax/">flomax online</a> <a href=http://efeflom.co.cc/medication-flomax/>flomax uk</a> <a href="http://efehydr.co.cc/hydrocodone-elixir/">hydrocodone pharmacy</a> <a href=http://efehydr.co.cc/hydrocodone-drug/>hydrocodone sale</a> <a href="http://efekama.co.cc/blue-kamagra/">kamagra prescription</a> <a href=http://efekama.co.cc/>kamagra prescription</a> <a href="http://efelevi.co.cc/levitraus/">levitra pharmacy</a> <a href=http://efelevi.co.cc/levitra-fact/>levitra online</a> <a href="http://efelipi.co.cc/prescription-lopotor/">lipitor rezept</a> <a href=http://efelipi.co.cc/lipitor/>lipitor cheap</a> <a href="http://efeneur.co.cc/jeurojtij-cheap/">neurontin generic</a> <a href=http://efeneur.co.cc/cheap-heurohtih/>neurontin cheap</a> <a href="http://efeoxyc.co.cc/Oxyconten/">oxycotin drug</a> <a href=http://efeoxyc.co.cc/Oxyconton/>oxycotin order</a> <a href="http://efepaxi.co.cc/paxil-suicide/">paxil effects</a> <a href=http://efepaxi.co.cc/paxil-pill/>paxil doctor</a> Thank you! Goodbay
Posted by Bareterama on March 9, 2010
Hi everyone I would like to present interesting site: <a href="http://efephen.co.cc/herbal-phentermine/">phentermine discount</a> <a href=http://efephen.co.cc/cheap-phentermine/>phentermine oral</a> <a href="http://efeplav.co.cc/Plavix-manufactuer/">plavix prescription</a> <a href=http://efeplav.co.cc/Plavix-manufactuer/>plavix rezept</a> <a href="http://eferita.co.cc/Ritalin/">ritalin pharmacy</a> <a href=http://eferita.co.cc/Ridalin/>ritalin prezzo</a> <a href="http://efesoma.co.cc/soma-tablet/">soma overnight</a> <a href=http://efesoma.co.cc/lyrics-soma/>soma suppliers</a> <a href="http://efesynt.co.cc/herb-synthroid/">synthroid purchase</a> <a href=http://efesynt.co.cc/synthroid-rebate/>synthroid prix</a> <a href="http://efetram.co.cc/keyword-tramadol/">tramadol online</a> <a href=http://efetram.co.cc/keyword-tramadol/>tramadol toronto</a> <a href="http://efeultr.co.cc/">ultram oral</a> <a href=http://efeultr.co.cc/generic-ultram/>ultram nextday</a> <a href="http://efevalt.co.cc/Altrex/">valtrex buy</a> <a href=http://efevalt.co.cc/Valtrax/>valtrex medikament</a> <a href="http://efeviag.co.cc/viagra/">viagra buying</a> <a href=http://efeviag.co.cc/>viagra rezept</a> <a href="http://efewell.co.cc/Wellbutrin/">wellbutrin generic</a> <a href=http://efewell.co.cc/Wellbutrain/>wellbutrin prescription</a> <a href="http://efexana.co.cc/valium-xanax/">xanax uk</a> <a href=http://efexana.co.cc/xanax/>xanax price</a> <a href="http://efezith.co.cc/">zithromax prices</a> <a href=http://efezith.co.cc/zkthromax-pills/>zithromax generic</a> <a href="http://efezolo.co.cc/zoloft/">zoloft uk</a> <a href=http://efezolo.co.cc/zolofts/>zoloft uk</a> <a href="http://efezolp.co.cc/Hemitartrato-zolpidem/">zolpidem online</a> <a href=http://efezolp.co.cc/>zolpidem cheap</a> <a href="http://efezovi.co.cc/Zovarax/">zovirax overnight</a> <a href=http://efezovi.co.cc/Zovirax/>zovirax sale</a> <a href="http://efeaccu.co.cc/accutane-cost/">accutane prix</a> <a href=http://efeaccu.co.cc/accutane/>accutane drug</a> <a href="http://efeadip.co.cc/adipex-line/">adipex medikament</a> <a href=http://efeadip.co.cc/adipex/>adipex doctor</a> <a href="http://efecele.co.cc/celebrex-cancer/">celebrex online</a> <a href=http://efecele.co.cc/celebrex-cancer/>celebrex pharmacy</a> <a href="http://efeestr.co.cc/estrogen-dominance/">estrogen effects</a> <a href=http://efeestr.co.cc/estrogen-pill/>estrogen online</a> <a href="http://efevico.co.cc/vicodin-750/">vicodin rezept</a> <a href=http://efevico.co.cc/>vicodin cheap</a> Thank you! Great
Posted by Zaharetale on March 9, 2010