Register Saturday | December 7 | 2019

Flyin' High

Nobody wanted the script.

There has been no news from my agent this week, which can only mean one thing: nobody wanted the script. Actually, she did send me one email, telling me that the one producer who did like the script took it to a studio but they passed on it. So that’s probably that. Naturally, it’s disappointing, but I can’t say I’m surprised. The script was a supernatural thriller I wrote with a friend of mine after a few studio executives expressed excitement over the idea. So we decided to write something. But as the writing dragged on over eighteen months, maybe more, it became clear that neither of us had our hearts in it. So while it looks like the script will probably go nowhere, I think I’ve learned something from the whole experience: don’t write scripts you don’t care about unless you are getting paid truckloads of money. (Which explains why a few writers in Hollywood actually do get paid truckloads of money to write garbage). And even then be prepared to suffer because writing without inspiration can be truly painful.

In other news, I received a call today about a job on a shoot in… Dubai. United Arab Emirates. The Middle East! Leaving on Saturday!? What better place to go right now as an American? I must be insane but I actually want to go, mainly because it’s a paid trip to a far off land and you can’t pass up these opportunities when most years you barely have enough money for a trip to New York. It’s a supposedly easy job, a two day shoot for a major computer company. The worst part is the travel; the flight time is a whopping twenty hours. Which means I better get a couple good books and some sleeping pills. I’ve never taken sleeping pills, but I’m told that’s the secret to these long flights. It’s too bad they don’t just serve you drugs instead of peanuts when you get on the plane. Everyone would be a lot happier and the airline business would be booming: “Narc Air: We Guarantee You’ll Be Flying High!” Until then, I’ll have to resort to the black market (in other words, asking some of my friends if they have any Valium or Ambien to spare).