...a man with no arms and no legs hanging on the wall?

Art!

What do you call a man with no arms and no legs floating in a pool?

Bob!

[I've been doing this for like three hours now.]

What do you call a man etc. sitting in a pot on your stove?

Stew!

[I mean no disrespect to actual men, or women, with no arms or legs. Although I guess there's really no getting around the offensiveness of it. If I had no arms or legs, I'd be righteously pissed reading this. Let's see if we can modify the motif:]

What do you call the guy who's in the pot with him?

Herb!

What about the guy who used to be really bright, but got burnt out?

Sean!

What about the guy who's running around going Waaaah!?

Waylon!

[Puns involving John and Lou are just vulgar. Skip it.]

Who's the guy lying in front of your door?

Matt!

The guy who's just like everybody else?

Norm!

[My loved ones have the patience of saints. I mean you, you can just click this off and go look somewhere else. But they're kind of stuck.]

The guy holding up the car?

Jack!

The guy sitting in the hole?

Phil!

The guy in the other hole?

Doug!

The classy guy?

Tony!

Bill!

Jim! (like gym, get it?)

Harry! (too obvious, maybe, but oh well)

Brad!

and my personal favourite...Warren!

[okay, I think I'm spent.]