Register Wednesday | December 11 | 2019

Award This

It's Award Season

Apparently it's that time of year again: "Awards Season." I learned this fact this morning at the gym when clips from the Golden Globes were playing on the TVs. I had a feeling, at that moment, that I was the last person in Los Angeles to know this.

I don't know what it is, but I just cannot seem to care enough to watch awards shows. I don't care who is there, what they are wearing, or what they said up at the podium. Sure, I like to find out who won what, but the actual act of sitting down to watch a group of people I do not know personally babble on and on about how thankful they are seems like a form of torture fit for Abu Ghraib. Not to mention the preposterous notion that the Golden Globes are a legitimate source of validation given the organization is made up of only ninety foreign journalists, many of questionable repute. But nevertheless they have gained considerable clout over the years, even though everybody knows they are bull. That's Hollywood for ya.

I went for about ten years without watching the Academy Awards. I think it was that Rob Lowe-Snow White dance number that did me in. So I went for years hearing, "You didn't watch the Oscars?! Why not?!" until finally a couple years ago I gave in and attended an Oscar party. (I think the decision had something to do with the suggestion that there would be single women there. Like many decisions I make). Fortunately, the crowd at the party was as sarcastic as I was and soon I was having fun making smart-ass comments and talking trash to the tv for a few laughs. I even managed to win the pool at the end of the night by guessing more correct winners than anybody else. Somehow, watching a four hour long awards show (in which I was not personally nominated for anything) was... fun?

More important, it struck me as I was watching a montage of film clips (probably somebody's lifetime achievement award) that the Oscars, however ridiculous and extravagant and trivial, are also a celebration of movies by not only the people who make them but also the people who love them. Which means most of us. (How many people do you meet who say they don't like movies?) During those ten Academy-free years, I had seen lots of movies, liked many of them and trashed many others. But had I looked back at the end of each year and thought about the films I had seen and celebrated them as a whole for entertaining me for dozens of hours? For taking me to distant lands and eras? For being the miracles that they are? (Yes, even the bad ones). No, I hadn't.

So now I watch the Oscars. I skip the Golden Globes, the SAG Awards, the DGA awards, the People's Choice Awards, the Teen Spirit Awards, The Grammys, The Emmys, The American Music Awards, and so on. But I'll get together with a few friends and a lot of wine and watch the Academy Awards. Because one day, maybe I'll be sitting in that auditorium in a tuxedo and a clip from my film will play, and I can only hope that a few of the millions out there will say: "Did you see that movie? It was good. I hope it wins something."

Now if they could just get rid of the musical acts and Joan and Melissa Rivers...