Register Tuesday | June 25 | 2019

Olympic Combinations.

Skiing and Jumping: No. Socks and Sandals: Yes!

Hello hello! I have to tell you, I'm more excited than a moose at mating season. Let the Games begin! I know I complained about the waste of money and all, but once I heard that Terry Leibel setting up the first events, well, I guess you could say I got caught up in the mood. You know what I like about Terry Leibel? She's not like a woman at all. She brings a man's gravity (that's another pineapple for you folks) to her job. Doesn't worry about hair or make up like some of those other women anchors-she just gets the job done.

Now, while I am getting into the spirit of the thing, I do wonder about some of these events. The first event was Nordic Combined. As I understand it, the competitors do a ski jump, and then a 15k (that's about 10miles, for those of you who haven't quite cottoned on to the metric system yet) cross-country ski race. Now, I can appreciate a race. It's pretty clear who wins in a race. The jumping on the other hand, doesn't just depend on how far you go. There are points for "style." That's just ridiculous. I mean, any event that requires judging, in my mind, doesn't count for much. Criminey, look at figure skating-all those judges are corrupt! I'll talk about that another time, but for this Nordic Combined, they use the judging to get a head start on the race. It just seems to me like a cheap way to win: getting a head start.

Now I'm watching the Freestyle Moguls. Another event that's based on judging. It looks like the Canadian, Jennifer Heil-from Maisonneuve's territory: Montréal-is winning, which is nice and all, but for me, the fact that it is based on some judges mood is a little bit disappointing. I don't believe anyone can really see a difference between those skiers and their many little turns. I'd like to see them put four skiers down at once, and make them race. That would be something!

You know, I really don't understand some of these commercials. There's a dad and his kid eating cereal, and at the end, they say that yoga leads to sock and sandals. Now, I would never do yoga (though I suppose I don't mind the tight outfits some of those broads wear), but what's wrong with socks and sandals? I mean, you want your toes to be free, but sometimes it gets a little cold. It's really a very convenient combination.

Speed skating! Now we're talking! The long track is great: a pure race. It's a series of one-on-one battles. No question about who wins. And the short-track! That might be my favourite: it's kind of like rock'em, sock'em speed skating. It's great!

Well, that's it for now. I've got to take my American visitors out now, show 'em how to set a trap. They came in here last night around 10, looking fer dinner! Imagine! I told 'em dinner's at 6. Then this morning they're layin' about in their jammies. I'm workin' two jobs here, and they think they're on holiday. Americans. Nice people, until you have some in yer livin' room.

See you soon,

Donald S. Thompson.