Register Wednesday | June 26 | 2019

Seven Steps to Picking Up Hot Foreign Guys in Coffee Shops

For the record, just let me say I have never picked up a hot foreign guy in a coffee shop, nor do I have any real interest in picking up a hot foreign guy in a coffee shop. I do, however, have real interest in the girl who I overheard picking up a hot foreign guy in a coffee shop.

1. Spot hot foreign guy having coffee with his equally hot male friend. wait until hot foreign guy gets up to order a refill.

2. Approach hot foreign guy's friend and ask if he is together with hot foreign guy.
3. Wait for hot foreign guy's friend to sputter, laugh, and then call hot foreign guy back to table in order to tell him the crazy story about how this girl totally thought that they were a couple. Laugh with hot foreign guy and his friend about your ridiculous mistake.

4. Tell hot foreign guy and his friend that you're sorry, it's just that you find it unusual to see two handsome, wel- dressed North American men having coffee together.

5. Wait for hot foreign guy to tell you he is foreign, then ask him a series of interesting questions about his home country. Tell anecdote about how you spent two nights in said country while you were backpacking during undergrad but never really felt like you, you know, experienced the culture.

6. When this conversation has come to its natural end, tell hot foreign guy that the real reason you were inquiring about his sexual orientation and relationship status is because you'd really like to go out with him sometime.

7. Make sure he enters your number correctly into his Blackberry. Shoot dirty looks at the girl waiting at the counter who is staring at you, awestruck by your obvious balls of steel.

This girl is my hero. I really hope it works out for them.

(From Listophelia. Read Amy Jones' story story "Places to Drink Outside Halifax.")