Register Thursday | June 20 | 2019

So Just Let Me Introduce Myself

In list form/

In list form, because that's really the only proper way that you will be able to get any fucking idea for who I am in such a place as this.

This is me, or what I hope will be me, about as accurately as I can put it down. Every twitch, every glitch, every funked out bizarre thought that may range across my mind. I'm one of those people you might know, but more precisely I'm probably not. In my mind, you've never met anyone quite like me.

My friends might say I have a great heart, am strangely loyal and caring, often when least expected. I would tend to disagree. At least for right now, at this stage in my life. I don't know if I've ever been more selfish, less inclined to care, self-referential and a tad narcissistic. It's something new to me, something probably brought on by hitting 28 and trying to figure out where I am and maybe why I'm not a bit further. I am introspective, remarkably sensitive to others, but also bothered and detached. I'm ideological, possibly to a fault, and annoyed that more people aren't. I think a bit too much, overanalyze more than I should, set up obstacles in my own path, find it interesting that I do, and, till this year, have rarely done anything about it.

I've lost, I think, about as much as should be allowed in almost 3 decades; I've experienced far more grace than I probably deserve. I fucking adore my friends, love my parentals (all of them) and sister, and consider the entire group to by my Chozen Family. (I swear a lot.) In general, I get a kick out of life. Lastly, I freak hate lists. Hate them. Hate them. Oh, and one more last thing: I live in extremes. I love a lot of things. I hate a lot of things. I know people say that you are not supposed to hate, that it’s unhealthy, but I think you hate in equal proportion to what you love, you feel in equal measure to what you don't, you hurt in perfect ratio to what bliss you get. I don't see the point of trying to balance that part of me. I have an opinion on just about everything, and can't understand why everyone doesn't (share mine).

And if there's anything else, well that's going to have to come out as we go along. That, for a beginning, will have to do. That's me, as I see myself, for right now anyway. Nice to meet you.