Register Friday | December 14 | 2018

I'm Ready For My Close Up

"Wait, I’m a blogger? Fuck. "

I think I threw up and swallowed it back down when I read this. So bloggers are soon to have agents, soon to pitch book ideas, which is a good idea since most of them can only think in ten second hits of lugubrious syntax and snarked out mixed metaphors. The pitches themselves should make for good reading: “A young (fill in gender), who’s exuberance for anything meta-pop culture sits in (fill in gender) apartment most nights, drinking alone. It takes place in New York City, on the Lower East Side, in Alphabet City, in a small studio apartment. The hero is underemployed and yadda, yadda, yadda.” Isn’t this a bit like the American Idol of writing? Do we really care so little for the written word, for the art of story telling, that we are going to give book deals to people with the short attention span of squirrels and an overwhelming drive toward procrastination? Does this seem to anyone else like a bad, bad idea?

And another thing….

[Wait, I’m a blogger? Fuck. Hold on…. Let me get my proposals together. There’s a really good one on the top, it takes place in New York City.]