So all in all, life is juicy, rich and good. I know it can flip quickly but for now I am enjoying this crest. I have always been jealous of musicians jamming, but I am finally getting to experience the play of creating with peers spontaneously. It has taken time to develop skills for invention and to find a group whose differences click into something cohesive. But now it is happening and it's awesome. Time just flies by when you are really engaged. For someone who is usually restless, being somewhere I want to be is a gift.

This is one of those weeks that has passed in a flash. Can't believe that it is Friday already. As of Monday, my time is more my own. Of course there is the looming search for part time paying work, but what is exciting is the beginning of my own creative process.

I am a part of an artists' collective called Vertice and we have received a creation grant to create a multimedia piece called Alcove. The elements are sound, movement, video, a connecting computer network and the rest of course is top secret. I have been wanting to do something like this for at least five years and can't wait to begin the research.

Lately, I have been trying to develop my own internal awareness and activate my imagination with imagery. Now the challenge is to convey this clearly and subtley to an audience. I think the set up of working with musicians and video artists will ground my ideas in a realm beyond dance. We all speak slightly different artistic languages and will have to each create something tangible enough for the others to understand.

I am getting ahead of myself though. What is going on today is the last day of improvisational research with Andrew Harwood. All week we have been doing sets that exceed an hour, and yesterday's went for two and a half. These long sessions remind me of a trip. The anticipation before hand, the initial assessment of your present state of mind and then losing yourself to experience events as it goes on. I feel content to finally be in the practice of my craft. Testing my ideas and challenged to react to the impulses of others. The energy in the room seems to thicken as the dance progresses and it is amazing to see the number transformations that take place as we go on. It is not all brilliant but it is always interesting to see the choices people make when things aren't working. Still looking to find total freedom and be able to access all my resources in the moment. Big part of it is the courage to act. Where have I heard that before. Does everything have to be a metaphor for life?!

Yesterday was a satisfying day. Went to yoga, felt super connected and warm in rehearsal. Then had a very productive session with Instant, my improv. group last night. There is something that relaxes in me when I am working with my peers. We were communicating very openly with each other when constructing the score and the clarity and listening in the dialog fed into our dance. I was inspired by the attention and continuity I saw and felt clear when I was adding to it. We are performing at Square Zero, an independent dance festival in Ottawa on the 10-12, and I feel much better about what we are bringing now.

Finally it is summer and some of the pressure is off. Something broke in me after the audition on Saturday. I just don't want to care too much for a while. I am sick of feeling the pressure to perform, that there is someone to impress, that I have to struggle to get somewhere. I want to feel free, enjoy life and make art out of that. I am so happy to get to explore my own creativity for awhile instead of being a tool for someone else's.

So now I have got to get out there.
Ciao
- Erin

* Good shows to check out this weekend:
Tangente - Tango inspired work by Marie-Claude Rodriguez

Theatre de la Chapelle - music by Michael F. Cote w/ commisioned works by a whose who of choreographers in town: Estelle Clareton, David Presseault, Domique Porte, Emmanuel Joutte

Sala Rosa - Sunday night accomplished dance and music improvisors

Maison de la Culture Frontenac - LADMI fourth year show

Tangeria (Parc, just below St. Viateur) - Tango show @ 10:30 Saturday night

Studio 303 - Saturday night Vernisage