Register Monday | March 19 | 2018


My Life

Have you seen my life? It was last spotted around Memorial Day, 2004. It was a fun life, unfettered by long work hours and absurd deadlines. It did now worry about pull quotes, or listen to hours of tape in an effort to find the right one. The words “September” and “October” were not a part of its vocabulary. It didn’t work 14 to 16 hour days, and was not exhausted, bone tired, beyond sleep to repair.

My life has been rumored, like random Elvis sightings or UFOs, to have appeared from time to time over the past few weeks at skydive locations in both California and New Jersey, though the effects of those sightings don’t seem to last past 10AM on any given Monday. My life was spotted on random walks throughout the Village and brunches with a family friend in need of career advice, and was allegedly spotted at the Edge bar in the East Village on Fridays, drinking and laughing.

There was a tip recently that my life can mainly be found at work, writing pieces on obscure pop culture figures and editing the biggest damn issue it has ever seen. It sleeps for a few hours each night before returning to this work place. If you’ve seen my life, tell it I want it back, I want free time, my thoughts, I’d like to feel that I can hang out with my friends without bowing out to head into the office on a Sunday. My life can reach me at [email protected], in case it wants to come back.

I got offered an alternative gig today. To edit a website, which would only take, I was told, an hour to an hour and a half a day. I was offered good money to do it, and turned it down. Part of me is wondering what the hell I was thinking, but I don’t know where I’d find that hour. For a week to a week and a half each month I could probably pull it off, but once closing of any issue started, something would have to give, and that thing would have been this blog. I’m not willing to give this up. The trade off of cash for the emotional stability, and just excitement and interest this space has provided me is not worth it. There’s iniquity to the deal, and, although my interest was peaked, I’d rather do this, in this space, with these words, than almost anything else I do.

If you see my life out there, chain it down and give me a call. I’ll come pick it up. Till then, here's a hilarious retort to President Bush, debate or slam style, from the hip-hop generation. Enjoy.