Several months ago, I was out dancing with some friends. There was good crowd, the drinks were strong and cheap, Beyoncé was crazyinlove and I was having a fabulous time. I was introduced to a guy who was good friends with my best friend Jess, but somehow we had never met. I could tell she really thought a lot of this guy. A laugher, a dancer, a photographer—what’s not to like? He was what every girl dreams of: the guy your best gal has tucked away.

Jess saw the sparks flying and took me aside. “Look, he is lovely, but he is not the guy for you for two reasons. First, he is going away on an extended trip in a month or so.” Not so bad, I thought; I’d expected to hear he was a louse, a lady’s man or maybe that he was gay ...