Register Thursday | May 19 | 2022

Shit Presidential Candidates Don't Say

Gingrich Romney

"I mean, we did kind of steal Texas from the Mexicans."

"I've never been so hung over in my life."

"No thanks, I've raised enough money."

"We've sort of got an open-relationship thing going."

"9/11 was an inside job."


"I'm just not sure I believe in God."

"Yeah, Big Pharma pretty much wrote that bill for me."

"You shoulda seen the size of the dump I just took."

"I don't really follow sports."

"The military budget is big enough already."

"You're making me so wet."

"Have you read much Marx?"

"Gee, I guess Israel is an apartheid state."

"I'm bi."

"We've probably killed more civilians than the terrorists have."

"That's a dumb question."

"Are you on Foursquare?"

"Oui, je parle francais."

"Third wife's a charm!"

"Fuck the troops."

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