Register Sunday | June 16 | 2019

Two Important Things To Remember:

Vote, and Former Premiers are Not That Nice

Dear Diary,

I voted last week. I felt pretty good about it. Actually, I felt great; which is weird, because all I did was mark an X on a ballot. I've marked X's on other things before, and since, but I just can't seem to get that same rush. Oh, god, I live for the rush.

Speaking of voting, here's how to vote (I don't care who people vote for, as long as they vote. They can spoil their ballot, but if they give me any shit about "I do not believe in the foundations of the democratic system" then I will put them in a hole, and they will have no recourse.):

I’m doing this as a public service. Some of you probably will not vote because you “don’t have time”, others know how to go about voting already. Still others may need this information in order to see just how easy it is to vote.

Step 1a – If you got your voting card in the mail, bring it to the polling place listed on the card, and go vote on Monday.

Step 1b – If you did not get your voting card in the mail:

a. Go to www.elections.ca and type in your postal code. Hit go, or enter or whatever.

b. On the new page that comes up, click on “where do I vote?” (from this page you can also find out who the candidates are with their contact information). This will tell you where your polling place is for election day.

c. Bring some mail (from the bank, or a phone bill, or a hydro bill) and two pieces of ID; something with your picture, and a health card, or visa card, or passport or something like that.

Step 2 – Go to the polling place and present yourself. You will get a ballot (if you don’t have your voting card, you may have to sign a piece of paper).

Step 3 – Mark that ballot with an X in the box beside the person for whom you wish to vote.

If you do not vote, remember, you will be put in a hole. I will have been working for 36 days straight, 90 hour weeks in order to make this country a better place and if you don’t vote, I will never talk to you again. Ever.

On another note, I had a beer with a former premier last night. Asshole. What an asshole.

See you at the polls.